So here goes,
Suffering from Mental illness is a choice, There I’ve said it and I’m open to the deluge! But before you go on the attack take a second whilst I explain….
Hey! I’ve been there!, anyone who has met me, read about me or simply knows anything about me will be aware that I am very open about my own mental illness battles. I also openly admit that I made choices that allowed me to feel that way for a long time and I also acknowledge totally that I could have made other choices, Which would have allowed me to be happy much sooner.
Now don’t get me wrong mental illness in itself is not a conscious choice, I definitely wasn’t aware at the time that I was making decisions that fed my illness rather than cured it. I was just tootling along in a pretty miserable existence believing that was all I was good for in this life, feeling sorry for myself, taking all the sympathy I could get and feeding my secondary gain daily. It took years for me to open my eyes to the part I played in keeping myself unwell, when I finally opened my eyes to the choices I had made, the ‘benefits’ I was relying on and the fact that I was living in my own little pity party I decided no more, it was time to change, to stop looking for sympathy and take back my life!!
For years I had made myself feel worse and worse instead of actively seeking out ways to feel better that actually worked. I believed the hype that the doctors referrals to counselling and CBT would work and yet even as I attended these appointments I continued to sink further into despair. So, at the end of my tether and at my lowest point I made a choice to do everything I could to be here and not allow myself to listen to those dark thoughts, I stepped away from treatments that didn’t work for me, started choosing to be happy no matter how negative things looked and I have never looked back. So, I want to say to anyone reading this right now who feels that despair, there is a choice and you can choose to make a change.
Right now we face an overwhelming surge in mental health issues, anxiety is all around us and it’s no longer only affecting just our adult minds, children are learning from the adults and adolescent suicide is on the rise. The NHS is overrun by people suffering mental health problems such as stress, anxiety and depression, they are referring an unprecedented amount of people to health professionals for free treatments which actually cost taxpayers millions if not billions, money which could be invested into treatments for other serious illnesses like cancer, lifelong illnesses and research into cures for both, if only we could get a grip on the challenges faced with mental health issues.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying don’t get help if you need it and of course for some, the medical model treatments offer a lifeline, I am simply acknowledging from experience that people are less invested in getting well when they can see a counsellor for free for the rest of their life if they want to, or take a pill everyday as they are convinced it’s making them better. When there is no financial implication or accountability for their own health are they seeing that the cure isn’t working? Or do they just keep going as it’s not costing them anything? I wonder will they still think these treatments are so good when there is no NHS and they have to pay themselves?
It’s worth remembering of course that the pharmaceutical companies also shave off a fortune from the NHS for pills like fluoxetine, citilapram etc. So they naturally don’t want people to actually get better or where will their money come from?, mental health is lucrative to those guys! and the health professionals who offer counselling/CBT etc. they’re the good guys aren’t they? Well, yes and no… they may have trained to help make things better but they benefit from free NHS mental illness services as they don’t need to look for clients as long as the NHS is paying them and referring hand over fist, they also get paid a better rate to work through referrals than by being in the paid service sector too, so again how does people getting better help them? And ask yourself, if the treatments are working and people are getting better why are they still seeing a counsellor years later?, why are they still medicating just to get through the day? and why is mental illness such a problem still and only getting worse?.
I spoke to a lovely lady just yesterday who has been seeing her counsellor for 5 years at least 3 times a month (the cost of that if charged at £50 per hour would have cost the NHS £9,000!!!) I asked if she felt it helped, her response shocked me more than working out that cost “not really, but its free and it gives me a chance to vent” £9,000 to vent!! Now I do not blame that lovely lady nor do I think badly of her, she is doing what she thinks is best to help her through some pretty dark times. She also hasn’t been advised that there are alternative options out there that work and work fast, because that wouldn’t line the pockets of the bigwigs now would it?
Also, all around nowadays there are people making excuses and justifying it being ok to be mentally unwell and creating a normalisation of severe anxiety and depression yet acting shocked when people take their own lives, this is due to a total lack of accountability. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, you would say its ok to have broken bones and do nothing to heal them so why is it ok to have a broken mind? Just like a broken leg a broken mind can be fixed (unlike a broken bone it can be fixed so it is good as new and not weaker than before) so what are you going to do about it to make it better?
Again, do not misinterpret me, it is fine to feel overwhelmed sometimes if you do not allow that to sit too long so it can set up camp and take over your life. It is not ok to suffer when there is options so you don’t, to look for sympathy and do nothing about it!! That is a slippery slope and can end up in extremely dangerous circumstances.
So back to my point of choice, people are choosing to use the publically funded NHS for their treatment so they get it free forever even when it isn’t working for them, yet stating how they are really struggling with anxiety, severely depressed and just want to be better. Often when given an opportunity to get well (guaranteed!) in a short time but at a cost to themselves they push back or say no! Which is their choice and totally fine, I get it they don’t believe it will help them I too was sceptical once. What I don’t get is what’s stopping them from taking that chance when they know what they are doing isn’t working anyway? Anxiety and depression sucks!! Surely they want to be rid of it? Is it the cost? if they could do the work and only pay if it works for them? Would they do it then?
These are questions I ask myself all the time as a coach as I don’t get why someone would want to stay sat in miseryville, I also ask my clients these questions and pretty regularly I get the response after we have done work of ‘I have no idea had I known I could feel better sooner I would have done it’. So, is it just a lack of education? Or is there something deeper at play? Are people scared to try something new? Do they lack trust? Or heaven forbid, Do they like being unhappy?
I know myself; I am always really honest about how alternate options helped me and I put out my own story to highlight the change that is out there if you are willing to take a leap of faith. As a coach, I also have no reason to string someone along, I actually take immense pride in people not needing me for a long time as that means they are genuinely feeling better!! They can cope with life’s challenges! They do not need medication and years long sessions!
It’s a simple matter of they come to me, we remove what they do not need and what’s no longer serving them, and they move forward!! Surely that is how all mental health services should work. No-one should need to keep attending appointments for years and years costing them more time, energy and money than necessary.
With coaching you are paying for transformation it is definitely not just a transaction!
Now, if you want to continue medicating yourself and seeing your counsellor with little to no relief from your illness, that is fine no judgement from me, each to their own. I only state one thing to anyone who decides to do so and then complains to me about how they still have anxiety and how depressed they still are, that they made that CHOICE!!
Comments