When you're stressed do you reach for that bar of chocolate? a glass of wine? the TV Remote? Do you trawl through Facebook looking for distractions? Or do you post on social media and wait for the responses to roll in?
We all have our go to day to day stress relievers when we are feeling that overwhelm of negative energy in our lives, we just want to escape for a moment to get out of our anxious thoughts. What if I told you there are another group who are doing just that except at a more extreme level - ADDICTS!! Now its important to state that no addict starts out wanting to become one, they often don't believe that there is an issue and that they are in total control, 'no way is that how they will end up or be the life they will be living'. They are simply looking for an escape whether that is drink, drugs, sex, gambling, smoking etc. and they each believe that the thing they are addicted to helps them feel better. 'It helps me unwind' 'It helps me cope' 'It makes me feel good for a while' 'It stops the bad thoughts' 'it makes me better' 'It takes away my pain' Sound familiar? have you ever said that about any of the day to day stress relievers I mentioned at the beginning?
Hmmmm.... now lets dig a little deeper, by doing any of the day to day stress relievers could we also be creating addictions?, well lets think about this.........If you feel the need to do any of those things just to ease your stress then guess what? you quite likely have an addiction!! when we are always looking for an escape or doing the same thing over and over as it helps us feel better it it easy to create a reliance on that option. Almost like a crutch ...... or for another word - an addiction! So coming back to stress, how does this help you moving forward? in truth it doesn't as anytime we become reliant on any outside source to influence our emotional state it is asking for trouble. Yes, it may help to begin with but the truth is the more it makes us feel good the more we want it, the more we want it the more we will introduce negative behaviour to get it and the less it helps each time. This in itself creates a very vicious cycle, just like a heroin addicts builds a tolerance to the drugs we build a tolerance to whatever means we use to feel 'better', meaning we need more and more to get the same 'hit' until we are seeking out those things at a very unhealthy level.
One of the hardest 'addictions' to break is that of sympathy or attention particularly for those who have mental health issues, we are told to share our problems and this is great advice - a problem shared is a problem halved after all. But, what if you aren't sharing for the advice and more to get the 'poor you' response, for some this is their Crack, their speed, their heroin! the more they get the more they want and then when someone offers them the help to be mentally well they don't want to take it as they will need to give up the attention. They don't want happiness as they are now addicted to the sympathy and know that if they are well they wont get it anymore.
Now, that really is a bind?! So, what can be done to stop this cycle? firstly recognition of behaviour and acceptance of real help, not just help to feed the addiction and self servient behaviour you are looking for. If your stress levels are so high that you cannot cope without an escape then its time to deal with that stress and remove it!! mental health issues are totally healable if you really want them to be. Mental illness is not an incurable disease and if you truly, honestly want to be well it is 100% achievable.
Ask yourself are you willing to give up your crutch, addiction and escape routes to see what your future looks like? if yes then the help is there you just have to reach out and take it!!
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